Thai People

Thailand can be a confusing place. Is it conservative or liberal? Is it friendly or shy? Is that a man or a woman?

Here is the place where you can find answers to such questions, in our detailed look at Thai culture. If you have any questions about culture or traditions in Thailand, feel free to get in touch and we’ll do our best to answer them.

Seriously Sanuk

Thais believe that if something isn’t sanuk, or enjoyable, it simply isn’t worth doing.

No excuse is needed to break out the whisky, crank up the karaoke and launch a party. Thais prefer to look on the bright side of life, and anyone who works too hard is likely to be considered ‘serious’, a major character flaw.

Most Thais live in rural areas, where the work can be long and laborious, so when their tasks are done they love to eat, drink - and laugh very loudly. Thai jokes are often visual or based around puns that gently poke fun at someone or something. For example, the Thai word for ‘face’ is na, so one famous riddle asks: ‘what fish has two faces?’, to which the answer is ‘tuna’ (two na).

Comedy channels on television come with psychedelic graphics, canned laughter and invariably a giant lady-boy plastered in make-up – think Chewbacca in drag. The gags are simple, sometimes risqué, but never offensive.

Yes means no

The Thai phrase greng jai broadly means being considerate towards others. Thais go out of their way so that others don’t have to go out of their way. Taken to extremes, greng jai means that a Thai will tell a white lie rather than give a negative answer to a question.

If you ask a Thai with a severe phobia of animals whether they would like to visit a zoo they will simply smile and say ‘maybe’. Thais don’t like creating a scene or having any kind of confrontation, however mild it may be. Visitors can feel frustrated by this, but forcing a Thai to give a negative opinion or say ‘no’ only leads to a loss of face.

The unwritten rule is that anything other than a beaming, sparkling affirmative means a negative. Thais have an innate ability to understand this unspoken code, or at least not get upset by it.

National pride

Thailand is the only country in Southeast Asia to have never been colonised by a Western nation.

Consequently, a strong sense of patriotism pervades the kingdom and this manifests itself in a belief that unity should come before individuality.

This uniformity extends to uniforms; different colours represent each day of the week and office workers tend to wear T-shirts that correspond to a particular day. The colour code is based on Hindu mythology and is as follows: Sunday – red, Monday – yellow, Tuesday – pink, Wednesday – green, Thursday – orange, Friday – blue, Saturday – purple.

Feelings of unity and a collective identity are strongest in rural areas, where common bonds are created through music, festivals and regional dishes. Thais, especially those living upcountry, will help each other out when it comes to building houses, solving problems and even paying for funerals without any thought of receiving anything in return.

Saving face

The Thai temperament is like a bottle of fizzy drink. You can roll the bottle around and shake it up and down without much happening. But, having agitated the drink sufficiently, the second you go too far and unscrew the lid you’d better stand back as the consequences will be spectacular.

Thais rarely blow their tops and try their best to avoid conflict. They hate to be embarrassed and so won’t embarrass others unless severely provoked; a self-preservation method that works well. They tolerate music pumping from shop fronts that would make your ears bleed, and won’t say a word if their neighbours are up until 3am honing their karaoke skills. Direct or even covert criticism of an individual or their family can result in nasty confrontations. Thais understand this well and so typically steer away from even the subtlest of comments.

Superstition is the way

From naming a baby to picking a lottery ticket, nearly every aspect of Thai life is determined by superstition. Although the kingdom is 95 per cent Buddhist, a strong belief in animism remains. Spirits are thought to inhabit every nook and cranny and it’s considered wise to appease them.

Most businesses and housing developments have a spirit house at the entrance to placate the entity that was there long before people turned up. Garlands, incense sticks, food and drink are left by the spirit house as offerings.

When it comes to food, women have all kinds of rituals to remember. A female should not sing while eating as this will result in an elderly husband, and if she dares to turn a tuna over on her own she will end up with large breasts, so the sayings go. Other superstitions include not whistling at night for fear of waking neighbourhood spirits, not getting a haircut on a Wednesday and avoiding anything to do with the number six (it sounds like the Thai word for ‘fall’).

Numbers in general have great significance in Thai culture and vast sums are spent on securing vehicle registration plates and mobile phone numbers with auspicious digits. While six is avoided, nine is sought-after as it sounds like the word for ‘progress’. Nine monks are often asked to bless new homes or businesses, and 9,999 golden iPods were produced to mark the 60th anniversary of the King’s ascension to the throne in 2006.

An example of how important numbers are was evident during a lunchtime break in an office canteen. As the workers were eating, a kitten fell from the roof’s rafters right into a man’s bowl of noodles. A woman who witnessed the fall decided this was an omen and asked for the birthday of the man whose bowl was now occupied by the kitten. She then went off to buy a lottery ticket based on the date.

Smiles

Thailand isn’t called ‘The Land of Smiles’ for nothing. Thais smile when they are happy. They smile when they are annoyed, and they smile when they disagree with you. Which makes interpreting what a Thai thinks something of a challenge.

Thais are genuinely warm, friendly people and so most smiles are the real deal. There are times though when a smile covers up embarrassment or acts as an apology. If a bus nudges a car at a red light the offending driver is likely to smile, apologise and then everybody will get on with their day. If someone slips on a banana skin, a Thai will smile in sympathy.

Thai culture is all about tolerance, so when things go wrong the easiest way to deal with anger, frustration or arguments is to literally grin and bear it.

Flexible friends

Thais are more about relationships than principles. Political groups are based more around personalities than policies, rules can be bent far beyond breaking point if you know the right people and police officers will forget about certain infringements if the offender has friends in the right places.

A politician may condemn a rival for a misdemeanor but will stand by a colleague who commits exactly the same offence. This can make Thais appear wildly unpredictable when making decisions or voicing opinions, but the reasons for their stance may have nothing to do with the actual issue at hand.

Thais need flexible friends to do anything, especially when it comes to business, and some things can only be achieved if you know the right person. Doors will swing open for such people, while for those not in the loop such doors will remain forever bolted. Thais know how important it is to maintain relationships and so accept cronyism as a way of life.

Top to toe

The head is the highest part of the body, both literally and spiritually. Conversely, the feet are the lowest part. A person’s head is off-limits and is never touched. When getting past someone who is seated, the person going by will bow to effectively apologise for having his or her head at a higher level.

At the other end, feet are considered the basest part of the body and are never used to point. Thais will not step over somebody who is lying down and the soles of the feet never point directly at someone.

Getting it wrong can have serious consequences. A newly-arrived tourist in Phuket once ordered a drink in a bar. As he pulled out some coins a few fell to the floor and he stopped them rolling away by putting his feet on them. A group of nearby Thais saw the man’s foot stamp on the coins – which bear an image of the King’s face – and was so enraged he was set upon.

Who to Wai

The wai is the traditional Thai greeting. It is performed by placing both palms together and in front of you in a prayer-like stance. That’s the easy part. Strict rules apply to how high your wai should be and who you need to wai. Getting it right indicates the social status of a person, something that has great importance in Thai society.

The person who is socially inferior always gives a wai first, with the fingertips at nose level. The superior person returns the wai, but the fingertips will be nearer the chin.

If the two people are roughly equal, or they don’t yet know who is superior, the fingertips stay below the chin. Servants, waiters and children are never given a wai first.

Royalty

King Buhmibol Adulyadej is the world’s longest-serving monarch, having come to the throne in 1946. He is revered and deeply respected by Thais and most homes have at least one picture of him.

Kings are no longer regarded as deities as they once were, but strict rules remain about the Thai royal family. Thais use different words to describe royalty (the Thai word for hand is ‘meu, but when referring to a senior royal hand it is ‘pra-hart’).

Any picture of the King must be higher than any nearby image. Even in newspapers, any photograph of the King will be the highest image on that page.

Some of the world’s strictest lese majeste rules cover any criticism of the royal family. In reality, almost no Thai would be openly critical but occasionally foreigners fall foul of the law. A drunken Swiss man in Chiang Mai was once jailed for ten years after spray-painting posters of the King. He was later pardoned. If there’s one thing guaranteed to wipe that famous smile of a Thai’s face, it’s any perceived slight to the Royal family, or their own family. Thais are rightly proud of HM the King and he is seen as the father of the nation, so be suitably reverential whenever Royalty is mentioned.

Appearances

Thailand’s high society (hi so) folk are easily recognised as the women sport bouffant hair-dos and the men jangle their Liberace-like rings. The status of everyday Thais is also largely decided by how they look. Civil servants don uniforms that designate their rank and some first-year university students wear socks to show their freshman level. Appearance is an obvious indicator of a person’s position, and therefore affects how he or she is treated.

When it comes to discussing appearances, Thais are disarmingly frank. Chubby children are called moo, or pig, and dark-skinned folk are dubbed dam, or blacky.

If a friend has gained a few pounds they will be told so in no uncertain terms; if they have visited a beach they will be informed how dark they look. Thais make Herculean efforts to avoid getting darker skin. They will swim fully-clothed to avoid catching rays and will apply all manner of lotions and potions to maintain a powder-white complexion.

Thais don’t bother with political-correctness when it comes to discussing skin colour – for them things are literally black or white. There was once a toothpaste named Darkie, complete with a black-and-white minstrel for a logo. Someone eventually pointed out the insensitiveness of this and the brand was renamed to Darlie – but the minstrel remains.

Thais have a love for all things white that is similar to a belief held in Britain several centuries ago. Dark skin is seen as indicating outdoor labour and therefore working-class status, while white skin is viewed as belonging to the higher classes who get to work in plush air-con rooms every day.

The move in recent decades from a largely agricultural society to a developed, modern country is partly responsible for encouraging such views. Many Bangkok residents distance themselves from the rural regions, which are seen as somewhat simple, and prefer to see themselves as middle-class and metropolitan.

Sexual attitudes

Despite Thailand’s reputation for sleazy go-go bars and ladies/ladyboys of the night, Thais are a conservative bunch. Showing affection in public is rare and even holding hands on the street will attract stares, although heterosexual male friends do this without getting a second glance.

Authorities are zealously protective over Thailand’s image and come down hard on anyone deemed to have damaged it. Pop singer Christina Aguilera found her video for the song ‘Dirrty’ banned in 2002 as Thai-language posters in the background advertised ‘sex tours in Thailand’ and ‘underage girls’. In 2007, aspiring actress Chotiros ‘Amy’ Suriyawongwho stepped out in a revealing black dress similar to the one that made Liz Hurley famous. Amy succeeded in creating as many headlines as Ms Hurley, but all for the wrong reasons. The 22-year-old was condemned in the media for showing too much flesh and the prestigious university where she was studying made her do 15 days of community service to make amends.

Despite such apparent prudishness, every town has massage parlours or karaoke bars for Thai men. Polygamy was only outlawed in Thailand in 1935 and attitudes towards extra-marital relationships remain largely relaxed. Many married Thai men regularly go for a massage, where all kinds of extra services and ‘happy endings’ are available.

Promiscuity is far more acceptable for men than women. As well as visiting massage parlous, men who have a girlfriend may also have a giik, or a casual partner on the side. Increasingly, more and more women are turning the tables and deciding to have a giik of their own.

A grade up from the giik is the mia noi. Husbands sometimes keep a younger mistress, or mia noi, and a few wives actually accept this, as long as they continue to be financially supported. However, more and more educated and working women no longer need to rely on rich husbands, and so attitudes are changing.

The famous Thai poet Sunthorn Phu would no doubt be traumatised by the prospect of women getting to have their own giik. Back in 1844 he wrote a famous book explaining just how women should behave in Thai society. He suggested: ‘Every night you should bow down at your husband’s feet and pay respects,’ and once in bed, he warned: ‘Be decorous, don’t let your hands and feet wander over him while you are asleep.’ When in public he was just as fussy, advising women to: ‘walk slowly. While walking, do not swing your arms, do not sway your breasts, and don’t talk.’

Attitudes may have moved on since Sunthorn Phu’s time, but Thailand is still one hugely patriarchal society.